Now those of you who know me, know that I am very much a planner. I consider myself a pretty organized person. I live by lists. I never walk into a grocery store without a list. I never pack a bag without a list. I even started this blog by listing out the points I wanted to highlight (no joke). So "planning to be surprised" is very difficult for me. What is that even? How can you plan for a surprise? The whole point of a surprise is to catch you off guard because it is something that is unplanned. It's an oxymoron-a combination of contradictory terms. So needless to say, planning to be surprised is something I struggle with every day. And trust me, life in the Marine Corps combined with carrying our first child, John and I get lots of practice planning for surprises.
I guess we succeeded in that we planned for the surprise of Elizabeth--to some degree. I mean we planned it in that we talked about starting a family soon after we were married in the Church but there was always the whole question of timing--which was the surprise factor. Then we learned his deployment date would be some time in March and my due date was pushed up by a month (from April to March) which was a HUGE unplanned surprise-I believe the intervening of God had something to do with it. If it stayed in April, there was a good chance John would miss the birth all together. Being in March, at least gave us a chance. So things seemed like they were working out almost as if we had planned it that way.
Now that my pregnancy is winding down, I'm really struggling with the planning part! Since we live far away from everyone, I know that as soon as something happens, both sides of our family will be traveling south at the drop of a hat. Meaning our house will be swamped with relatives all awaiting to shower Elizabeth with their love. This to me equates to 1) the house needs to be clean--for some family members this will be their first time visiting us! 2) Our hospital bags need to be packed! Duh! 3) The "plan" is that my mom and step dad will be staying with us in our bedroom, so fresh clean sheets need to be ready for them-not to mention all other laundry should be done! 4) The house should be stocked with groceries and some meals planned out and frozen so that my mom or whoever can easily whip up something for bfast/lunch/dinner (and something that John will eat--anyone who knows him, knows he can be picky!) Now also throw in there that John is packing for a 7 month deployment as I am packing for a 7 month trip to MD (where I will be going from maternity wear to sweats to hopefully normal size clothes and it will be over a season change) with baby and dog in tow so it has been quite a chore to get everything straight! I don't know how many times I've said, ok this is my last grocery trip before she comes, this is the last time I'm going to dust or vacuum, the last time I'm going to clean the bathrooms-because I thought (hoped) she'd be here by now! The whole not knowing when she is coming is driving me crazy!
Now the plan for John all along was that there really was none. We hoped it would go this way: Either his unit would be deploying after her due date (March 13), or if they were deploying close to her due date, as long as I was a completed 39 weeks (which is today) by law they can induce me, or she would just come late Feb, or really early March and there would be no problem at all. Then, we got word that his unit was deploying March 9th. That is the official date. And we had reason to believe (I don't want to go into too many details) that they were going to allow him to stay until the birth and fly him out separately since their departure date was so close to her due date. Relief set in! But it had not been confirmed. We needed to know by my appointment yesterday (March 5th) if we needed to induce and so the fact that nothing had been confirmed by week 38 was frustrating!! Then our world was turned upside down when last week he was told to just assume that he was leaving March 9th with everyone else. Now if I were to be induced at 39 weeks, March 6th or 7th (assuming it's not a big deal to get an inducement appointment fast) you're in the hospital 48 hours after the birth of the baby putting us right at March 9th so he would be saying goodbye to us in the hospital. This was not a surprise that we had planned for. It wasn't one of our options. Not only was it heartbreaking to think there's a chance he's going to miss everything, but also the fact that it wasn't an option we had explored made it even harder to swallow. March 9th was a lot earlier than we thought THE DATE would be, or heard it was going to be. And having basically a week to prepare ourselves for these circumstances was a lot to handle. Insert lots of prayers here.
In the 5 days that have passed since we've received that news, John got promoted to corporal (hooray!), I had some leakage issues that at 38 weeks we felt we had to make sure it wasn't amniotic fluid so we went to the ER to find out it was a false alarm, and we finally received confirmation that they are allowing John to stay until the birth! They will be giving him his 10 days designated paternity leave as soon as she is born, whenever that may be, and then finding him a flight that will send him over to meet up with his unit. Praise the Lord!! Let down after let down, we certainly weren't planning on that surprise (but we were hoping). Despite the delay in his unit's response to us, I can honestly say I am impressed that they didn't just drop him. It would have been very easy for them to just say, "This is getting way to complicated, let's just let him stay home." As nice as that would be, John joined the Corps for this reason and thus has been looking forward to this adventure in his life for a long time. I was afraid that they were going to take it away from him but instead they fought for him and found a way to make both things work out and that tells me they really see something in John that they want to utilize him for on this deployment. Which makes me really proud, really thankful, and really happy!
So here we are, at week 40, dealing with surprise after surprise, and trying to plan as best as we can for the big one! I am a good 2 cm dilated and more than ready to meet Elizabeth. All the packing is complete and the chores are done (for the 3rd time) and we can relax. Since it has been 9 months, being pregnant has become my new normal so I almost have to stop and say "oh yea, there is an end to this and oh yea, it ends with a PUSH." Reality check! And you would think after 9 months I'd be prepared for that PUSH but I get nervous every time I think about it. I mean I've taken all of the birthing classes, read the books, but I still feel unprepared. Since it is my first, I guess the feeling is normal. I don't have a birthing plan, which you would think I would, but I figured I would plan to be surprised..... and I have a feeling I won't be disappointed! Hopefully it won't be long now! The next post will be the big reveal!!!
The ever diminishing belly button!
No comments:
Post a Comment